As December slowly comes to an end, I’ve been reflecting on the resolutions I’ve made at the beginning of this year.
To be completely honest, I came into 2017 feeling defeated. I had trouble finding a job, I watched my grandpa’s health decline, I was going through ups and downs mentally and spiritually, but worst of all… I was ready to give in and give up for good.
I was so tired of carrying the weight of my burdens. Not being good enough and the fear of never being good enough. Waiting for things that may never happen. Brokenness, anger, pain. There were and still are so many things that I’ve held on to that stopped me from starting 2017 with a grateful heart. It wasn’t until I started unpacking some of those burdens that I began to see brighter days.
There’s a great deal of things I’ve accomplished this year:
-Creating more and using my God-given talents to be His light
-Stepping out of my comfort zone and creating tangible products out of my work
-Finding a job where I can do what I love
-Crossed something off of my bucket list
-Despite going off the rails at times, I’ve continued on my walk with God and became closer to Him
-Learning more about myself and my faith
-Understanding what it really means to have a God-centered community
-Finally accepting that I am the way I am because God has created me to be this way
If I had given up like I wanted to, I wouldn’t have had the chance to do any of those things, and so much more in 2017.
Granted, there are some resolutions that I haven’t accomplished, but I’ve learned that my plans are nothing compared to God’s plans. I may not have done all the things I’ve wanted, but I believe that I am exactly where He wants me to be.
To be completely honest, I’m ending 2017 with a heavy heart. There is still so much that I am uncertain about — things that have broke me over and over again — but I know that I have to keep going. If you’re like me, if you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone. You can and will get through this, but you have to choose to keep going.
2017 has been a crazy ride… And I’m thankful for each and every lesson I’ve learned along the way.
I’m looking forward to all that I’ll do and more importantly, all that I’ll learn in 2018.