Refuse to Sink

Hi, friends!

It’s August… Where did the time go?!

This is the month I’ll finally be taking the time to focus on me. For so long, I’ve poured myself into others, into ministry, into jobs, and especially into investing in peoples’ futures… But throughout all of that, I didn’t realize that I was stretching myself so far, that I was bound to snap.

Over the past two years, I’ve learned to acknowledge the parts of me that I’m not proud of and began fixing them. Making the step to finally move forward was scary, but I’m happy I did it. There were times where things were absolutely amazing, but there were even more times of failure, defeat, and heartbreak. Each time there was a new obstacle I couldn’t get over, I became more and more discouraged and eventually, I ended up back in the same place, drowning in the things I tried so hard to escape.

Time and time again, I would ignore the things God had put on my heart, especially when He would tell me that I need to take a break and rest. I would fill my life with more noise to drown out the things that I should have been listening to.

This time around, I refuse to add more noise. I refuse to sink. It’s time that I listen and take action.

I will finally be taking a much needed break to get the rest that I need.
(This break may have an effect on my posting schedule… but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.)

As my wonderful mentors have taught me, when we take breaks, we need to do so with intentions, otherwise it’s not a break — it’s running away. During this break, I’m making it my priority to fix the areas of my life that need it, and I’ll be unpacking all of the things I need to let go of.

-I will cut back on volunteering and focus on my relationship with God.
I’ve given my all to the next gen ministries but put my relationship with God on hold. I know what my calling is and will still be following that call, but I need to get myself back on the track He wants me on.

-I will continue to move forward on my road to recovery.
Acknowledging and getting help for my depression was one of the biggest life changes I’ve made thus far, but I’ve put a hold on getting help. I’ll be in counseling, learning how to deal with the things that overwhelm me.

-I will be spending more time with the ones who matter, the ones who don’t make me feel like I’m hard to love.
One thing that I’ve always done is give attention to those who put me down, those who make me feel like I’m a burden and that I don’t matter. These type of people are toxic, and if you have people like this in your life, PLEASE rethink your relationships with them. I spent so much time trying to please these people, that I’ve neglected those who actually love and care about me. I plan on making memories that matter with those who matter most.

-Last, but certainly not least, I’ll be taking care of myself.
Something that I’m passionate about is making sure everyone is taken care of. You’re hungry? Let me cook or buy you food. You’re sad? Let me be there for you while you vent out your frustrations. You’re happy? Let me be there to cheer you on. You need encouragement? Let me give you the best advice I know how to give. I aim to be there and take of everyone, but I never focus on taking care of myself.

I’m going into this break expectant, because I know God has so many amazing things ahead of me, but I need to get back on track first.

This season will be tough, but I know it will be worth it in the end.
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