#AskMel

Hi, friends!

Lately, I’ve been a fan of advice columns. I enjoy reading the questions people send in and how the writer chooses to answer them. In light of my new hobby (or obsession…) I wanted to take a swing at this type of writing. The questions I’ve answered today have came from a few of my friends and some friends of friends.
I am by no means an expert at this, but I do promise that all my answers have come from the heart.


• How do I deal with bullies?
Bullying and cyber bullying is something I have very little to no tolerance for. Most bullies act out the way they do because of their own insecurities and they’re looking for attention or someone to just be there for them. Don’t let bullies bring you down and definitely don’t ever stoop to their level. Continue to be yourself and as JoshuaDTV says, “Be nice to people!”

• How do I stop the urge to skip class?
For those of you who are still in high school, go to class! Your education is free, take advantage of it. I know some classes may be boring, but I want you to consider this: there are so many people around the world who are your age that would love the opportunity to sit in that boring class that you’re taking for granted.
Same goes for those of you in college, go to class! Whether it’s your own money, your parents’ money, or money from a grant you received, your education costs money. Skipping class is basically throwing money away. Many people would jump at the chance to further their education, but aren’t able to for many reasons, one of those reasons mainly being money. If you’re one of those people who have been blessed with the chance to go to college, make the best of it.

• How do I cut toxic people out of my life?
Cutting people out of your life is never easy, but sometimes it’s necessary. More often than not, we realize someone is toxic when they’re no longer in our lives. If you know they’re toxic, you’re already on the right track. Depending on who the person is, maybe you won’t have to cut them out, but instead, create space between you and them. Have a talk with them, let them know how you feel. This can go many different ways. They can accept and respect your decision of wanting space, they could ask you what they can do to make things better, or they may get angry and decide to cut you out of their lives. Be honest and approach these people respectively.

• How do I deal with heartbreak?
If anyone has an answer to this question that has been 100% proven to work, please let me know because I’m still learning how to deal with heartbreak.
What I’ve found to be very helpful is to surround yourself with those who love and care about you, the ones who want to see you happy. It’s those people who will help lift you up and begin to mend your broken heart. Sometimes, we isolate ourselves when we’re hurt, but that only makes things worse. Don’t build walls, but instead build bridges.
Seek help. Find someone to talk to, someone who can help you work through the things you’re feeling and thinking. There are many people in your life who want to help, but they can’t help you if you don’t ask.
Accept what has happened and look forward instead of constantly looking back. The more you look back, the more heartbreak you’ll feel. Focus your eyes on what’s ahead and do what you can to move forward. Yes, there will be times where you slip up and fall back, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get back up.
Don’t compare your healing process to anyone else. Healing is possible for everyone, but it also looks different for everyone. If it takes you longer to heal, it’s okay. Healing takes time, don’t rush the process.
If your heartbreak came because a relationship ended, take time to concentrate and work on yourself. You need to be okay on your own before you’re with anyone else. You are your own person, no matter how much you have grown with whoever you’ve dated, you need to grow on your own. Never lose sight of who you are.

• Does it ever get better?
This is something I ask myself almost everyday. Other people have asked me this question many, many times, and I’ve had the same answer each time:
I can’t promise things will get better, but what I can promise is that you’ll never know unless you keep going.
You have to want things to get better and work towards it. You can’t let the fear of not knowing what may happen stop you from moving forward. Once you let it stop you, you’re yielding all chances you have of getting better. Keep moving forward with your head up and heart strong.


Need advice? Don’t be afraid to send me any questions you have. Head on over to the contact page to submit your questions.
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